Jamie's Blog

I Don't Care

May 10, 2012.

I was reading all over the web everyone all a flutter this morning regarding the whole Mom breast
feeding her....I don't know 9  year old son (okay he is almost four.....but still) on the cover of Time Magazine.  I read a lot of comments for and against the photo.  Mother's saying it was beautiful, others saying it was gross - and so goes another ridiculous worthless argument about who is a better mother.  

I even started to get involved in the dialogue and started imagining my post on this attrocity to society.  Ya, but not for or against breast feeding toddlers, because I am more concerned with the poor boy and what he may will go through as he grows older.  I mean, was anyone thinking of that four year old boy being a ten year old, a fourteen year old or a seventeen year old trying to date a girl?  I am sure the "Boob Man" jokes will be making a big pressence tonight on Late Night TV.  That poor kid, he will most likely be ridiculed forever, even when he  just orders a chicken breast.  I seriously was gonna dedicate a whole post to it, and ask my soon to be thirteen year old what he thought.....and then I sighed and said to myself, "I don't care."

Not to sound insensitive or crash - but I don't care.  I don't need to spew my own over-inflated opinion out there (even though the irony that I just did is not lost on me).  I don't need to tweet how for/against/agast I am at the provcative pose she is making on the cover.  It's her life and it is her bed (and her son's bed) that she has to lie in....no pun intended since the story is about that type of parenting.

I Don't Care Anymore

I loved being a part of the Mommy Blogosphere for a few years (even though I detest that word).  It was fun to write for an awesome website that got tons of comments and I liked writing about controversial subjects.  Going to Blogher was amazing, meeting some of my heroes in person was amazing.  Getting all the free food, drinks & silly crap they gave away - all Amazing.  I was all about linking, commenting, blogging and staying up on the stupid Twitter feed.  

Now-a-days, I really have no desire to spend countless hours doing all that any longer.  I still love me some Facebook (and now Pinterest) but I don't want to dedicate that much time to the craft of blogging.  The end result (for me) was not as rewarding as one would have thought.   I loved it at the time.....now, ah I am going to say it, "I don't care".

It's not that I dislike or am jealous of the other bloggers out there - it just does not interest me any longer.  Sort of like battling over breast vs. bottle - those days are long gone and I don't care what anyone (or how) they feed their kids.   Everyone seems so damn sensitive these days if other people do not conform to their ridulous standards.  As long as it does not affect me and my children, "I don't care."

Now, don't get me wrong, I still love to blog/write and I will probably do it till I die, but eh.......not religously, not daily and not for profit.  Unless of course some editor comes a callin' and asks me to write a book or my super duper ever exciting memoir...then okay - I will do it.  But until that fantasy comes to life........I just don't care.

I Used to Care, But Now I Don't

I used to go after press for Jamie's Painting & Design and more importantly Jamie with a vengence.  I was a rapid Mama Grizzly Bear on a mission and I was actually quite good at it.  Maybe not so much good - but I had a good story and most times were at the right place at the right time.  Other than getting into People Magazine and on the Oprah Winfrey Show or in her magazine, I accomplished everything I ever imagined for my business in the eyes of the press corps.  

Also, I am not proud to admit this, but I used to turn green with jealousy when other entrepreneurs in my industry (or just close to it) got awesome press.  I assumed they were showered with sales, celebrity clients and calls from......Oprah of course after they were featured in some magazine.  I would obsess over it and would waste countless hours courting that very magazine that just ran a story similar to mine.....ya, not proud of that.  Eventually it would work out and I would get the press from that magazine, a newspaper, TV show - whatever, it came at some point.  

Again, sticking with the theme of this post, I just don't care anymore.  I mean if it happens that would be great - but I am not in the mood to go out and try to get it with my mouth frothing while I repeat my story for the 45th time to some reporter.  I am more a 'Been There, Done That' kind of girl.  The reason being is most of the press did not put $$$ in my pocket, or even equal sales.  Press did equal more press (which is a whole other post about people only want to write about you if some other reporter already did) but it rarely equaled sales.  I loved me some press, but I could not and can not pay for college bragging about being on Dr. Phil.  So......don't care.

I Could Care Less

I have mentioned many, many times how I kept up on my competition pretty closely for many years.  There are many reasons why I did this and I stand by my choices for doing it.  I really think you (me) need to know what is going on in your industry so that you can stay ahead.  This is especially important when you are a young company and a newbie to your industry.  You can not lay on your laurels - because frankly you don't have any.  

Fast forward to what is coming on our ten year mark this November and well, I guess I will take a peek once in a great while at other companies.  Honestly, most of my competition is gone - that is not me bragging, they just are.  Many, many small companies went away in the Recession or they licensed their work to larger companies.  

Also, the trends in the Children industry have sort of hit a lull in my humble opinion.  There are not exciting color combinations and amazing designs coming out these days.  I remember reading that in a Recession (or Depression) people go back to comfort foods, calm & safe colors and designs.  It makes sense and it made for a boring few years of designing new products.  So, now a days I will keep an eye on some othe companies but I am pretty sure if they develop a new design before I do, it won't be the end fo my company or the world.  I tend not to care if they do or if they don't.

What I Do Care About

I know this post sounded very negative and I yes I am singing that 80's song in my head as I write it, but stay with me.  As much as I enjoyed carying soooo much too much about these distractions in the past, I am glad I don't any longer.  I can focus on my business and my family.  I can spend my time caring about getting out good products and getting them on time to our customers.  I still want our customers to love our products and I still care about making them.

I still get excited about new designs.  Even though it has been two long years since I came out with new designs for my company I have worked on designs for sports teams, schools and various licensing companies.  I care about new partnerships, relationships and promotions with other companies.  I care about new customers (and old ones) instead of my competiton and my presence in the press.     I care about me and my happiness, instead of bending over backwards working 24 hours straight to please a channel partner that won't even pay me on time.  I care about my family and our quality of live instead of my blogs popularity and the number of readers I had last week.

So while the rest of the internet blows up over the latest boobie sighting, I will not be joining the conversation.   I am pretty sure my son's email is blowing up right now with this one photo being shared amongst all teenagers around the country.   I am going to spend the evening with my family and most likely explaining to my son about the dangers of a controversial photo and how it can haunt you....forever.  

New York Times Baby

As I mentioned in my last post I had the good fortune of being interviewed by the frickin' New York Times a few weeks ago.   And, then the misfortune of the photographer coming to photograph me for the piece.  It went live last night and I was able to post it on Twitter and Facebook.  Most everyone was very positive and gave me major props.   If you read all the way through you will see my good friend Jennifer Christensen (she was my inspiration for saying NO) interviewed also.

So this morning I did go rush out and purchase one, okay three copies of the paper.  I kept singing the old "Cover of Rolling Stone" all day today.  I thought it was funny....my kids not so much.  My new nickname around school is Jamie "No I'm Not" Lentzner.  I heard that the article was passed around a lot today around some Bay Area schools, amongst volunteers, PTA boards and us ex-volunteers who were happy to NOT be at school.  You can read the article here:

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Frazzled Moms Push Back Against Volunteering

Drew Kelly for The New York Times

Jamie Lentzner, of Foster City, Calif., feeling overwhelmed, put an end to her school volunteering.

By HILARY STOUT

Published: December 1, 2010

IT was last spring, somewhere between overseeing Teacher Appreciation Week and planning the fifth-grade graduation party, when Jamie Lentzner, mother of two in Foster City, Calif., reached her breaking point. 

She had already designed the fifth-grade T-shirt, taught art twice monthly to three different classes, and organized movie night, restaurant night and beach night fund-raisers. She was overscheduled and exhausted. She had scant time to help her children with their school projects because — coincidentally — she was always working on projects for their school. “You’ve got to stop,” said her husband, Darin, who worried that the constant stress she seemed to feel was damaging to her health.

Ms. Lentzner realized that she had spiraled out of control. She vowed to put an end to all this volunteering — and to recapture some of the serenity in her family life that had vanished because of nothing more than a well-intentioned desire to pitch in.

Today, more than three months into the school year, Ms. Lentzner is a new woman. She has yet to attend a PTA meeting or decorate so much as a classroom doorknob. When she saw her name listed as chairwoman of the annual Donuts for Dads Day (another event she oversaw last year) on a volunteer sign-up sheet, she whipped out a Sharpie and crossed it out.

“No, I’m not,” she wrote.

Her business — she designs children’s room décor — improved, and at home, the change has been striking. She has time to play Ping-Pong and Wii with the children. She hosted 27 relatives and friends for Thanksgiving last week, and for the first time in years she enjoyed the holiday. “I told my husband, ‘I am not stressed,’ “ she said. “I did not have some event hanging over my head, or a T-shirt design that had to be done. I think I finally have my priorities in the right place.”

Around the country there are a number of altruistic, devoted and totally burned-out mothers just like Ms. Lentzner who are becoming emboldened to push back against the relentless requests from their children’s schools for their time. What started out as an admirable civic gesture somehow snowballed into an inability to say no to any committee assignment or project request, and spiraled into night, weekend and after-school commitments, middle-of-the-night e-mail exchanges, as well as frozen dinners, takeout pizza and baby sitters at home.

With the holidays approaching, the call for parental help at school has reached a fever pitch, but this demand is not just seasonal. As local and state economies continue to struggle, budget cuts to rich and poor school systems are increasing the reliance on unpaid parent help. The need is so great that some school districts, like a couple of specialty schools in Prince William County, Va., have made it mandatory to commit to a small amount of volunteer time, and others are considering it. In San Jose, Calif., one elementary school district has been discussing a proposal that the families of its 13,000 students commit to 30 hours of volunteer work during the year.

Many parents are happy to volunteer uncoerced, and most everyone recognizes the worthiness of the cause. But the heightened need and expectations are coming at a time when many parents have less and less time to give.

“Volunteerism is way down at our school this year,” said Gary Parkes, the PTA president at Carmel Elementary School in Woodstock, Ga., a suburb of Atlanta. At the school’s recent annual fall festival some games had to be closed down because of a lack of adult volunteer supervisors.

Economic necessity, Mr. Parkes said, has forced some stay-at-home mothers to go back to work. “People are so busy trying to stay afloat, they just do not have as much time as they would like to give,” Mr. Parkes said, adding that he has heard similar laments in regional PTA meetings. “This seems to be a problem for a lot of schools.”

(Mr. Parkes has been getting creative. He reached out to the Cub Scouts to help with the fall festival and recruited the girls’ lacrosse team at the high school to operate the crazy-hair and face-painting stations. He is also exploring arrangements with the R.O.T.C. and with corporations that have public service programs.) 

Other forces are at work besides the lack of free time. The growing world of mom blogging has provided ample forums for exposing the darker feelings of motherhood, and a number of women have taken to cyberspace to gripe about school volunteer work. Some complain that the system preys on maternal guilt and that it creates a sense that a mother’s worthiness is measured in how many hours she puts in at her children’s schools. Under the headline “Just Say NO to Volunteering,” Sarah Auerswald, a former PTA president in Los Angeles, wrote in June, “What I am about to say is not very PC, so get ready: Moms, stop volunteering so much.”

Ms. Auerswald, who estimated that she had sat through 1,000 meetings over the last 10 years as a volunteer, said all her work for the schools had left her “a run-down, crabby, resentful wreck.” Worse, she said in an interview, “My kids got really resentful.” When she would leave them with yet another baby sitter, or drag them along for yet another Saturday Clean-up Day at school, they implored, “Why is it always you who has to do everything, Mom?”

Ms. Auerswald emphasized that her children’s school had a very real need for parents’ volunteer work. But she said she has learned that parents need to set realistic expectations about what they can accomplish and how much of themselves they can give.

Because the work is unpaid, some volunteers say, few realize the toll it can take on people. “I know a woman — the work she did for the public schools was so critical — she made me look like a loafer,” Ms. Auerswald said. “Then her husband left her because she was never home.”

That news was startling to Ms. Auerswald. “Not that my husband was leaving, luckily,” she said, “but he was not happy about how much I was doing.”

Part of the burnout stems from the fact that in most schools a small number of volunteers shoulder the vast majority of the work.

Everyone recognizes this, but they can’t help but wring every ounce of commitment out of those who seem willing. Consider the case of Zan Jones.

Ms. Jones is a mother of two in Keller, Tex., who works part time as a booking manager for professional speakers. This fall she was co-chairwoman of the Scholastic Book Fair, a commitment of five full days on top of the multiple meetings required to organize the event. And the decorating.

This year’s theme was superheros, so Ms. Jones made the sign with Superman saying, “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a book fair!” She made tall buildings out of cardboard boxes. She stuffed the Spider-Man costume that she had found and bought herself. When it was over, she helped pack everything up and take the money to the bank.

That’s a lot of work — especially since her children don’t go to the school anymore.

Near the end of the summer, Ms. Jones’s children, a third grader and a fifth grader, were accepted to a charter school, but she felt uneasy about breaking volunteer commitments she had made to their old school. And, apparently, the school was desperate for help.

“They were panicked,” Ms. Jones said. “There was not one mention of ‘Oh, don’t worry about it.’ If there was, I probably would have taken it and run with it.”

Still, Ms. Jones insisted that she was happy to help, and no sooner did she fulfill her commitments at the old school than she started volunteering at the new one. She has chaperoned three field trips, worked in the library and helped set up a “mad scientist” dry ice center for a Halloween party. But she admitted she considered bowing out.

“Selfishly, I thought, ‘Oh my God, this is my chance for a clean break,’ ” she said. “I thought, ‘I can go somewhere where no one knows me, and I can sit silently under the radar and not volunteer.’ ”

But, she explained: “My kids really like me volunteering. Their faces light up when I’m there.”

That is what most parents assume — that school volunteer work is in the best interests of their children. But some veterans are skeptical. Jen Christensen’s epiphany came on her 41st birthday in May 2009. She was presiding over Teacher Appreciation Week at her children’s school in San Mateo, Calif., and getting up daily at 4 a.m. to work on the school auction. She was so overcommitted, she said, that she could not find time to celebrate.

What hit harder still was that she had given up working when she had children to be home with them — and now she was continually leaving them with baby sitters because she had to attend a meeting at school.

The next fall, Ms. Christensen declared herself off-limits to all school volunteer requests. “I said: ‘I’m done. I quit. Don’t call. Don’t e-mail.’ I said I have given so much of myself. I’m spending 50 hours a week working on a volunteer position. Where does it end? You want some blood? I wouldn’t even let my husband write a check.”

Ms. Christensen added: “It felt fabulous. I took a step back and was able to see what was wrong and appreciate the opportunity I have. I don’t have to work, and being able to spend time with my kids is what my job really should be.”

She noted the simple pleasure of reading with her 8-year-old son, Owen, in their special “reading chair.”

“It was calmer in our home and I think everyone was much happier,” she said.

Some of the push-back stems from just plain irritation over the way volunteer requests are made, often involving large numbers of increasingly desperate-sounding e-mails. A few years ago, Karen Bantuveris was on a plane on a business trip. “I looked down and literally saw my BlackBerry fill up with reply-all e-mails about whose turn it is to help at recess and to bring snacks,” she said. “The more I talked to working moms, the more I heard: ‘I can’t volunteer anymore. This is ridiculous.’ ”

Ms. Bantuveris put her training as a management consultant to work. She invented an online system — similar to the popular Evite invitation service — that sends a calendar of volunteer opportunities and allows parents to sign up for those of their choosing without multiple e-mail exchanges. She now runs a company called VolunteerSpot that markets the system, coordinating 460,000 volunteers, 75 percent of them parents in schools.

Even among those who have made the break from volunteering, there is always guilt. “There is such a need,” Ms. Christensen said. Her year of saying “No” ended when school started this year. But still she is a far cry from her old über-volunteer self.

She agreed to be a “room parent” for the third grade, which means she plans class parties. And she did consent to oversee the kitchen-tour fund-raiser, but she is now “kind of regretting it.” It is scheduled for September 2011, Ms. Christensen said, noting, “I still have time to get out of it.”

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So that is that, I was in the New York Times.  I can scratch it off my bucket list (I don't have one but if I did I would put be in the New York Times on it).  Once I get on the Oprah Winfrey Show (you did not think I would not reference her did you?  I only have till September 2011) and my products in People Magazine I can say I have done everything.  Everything as far as publicity goes that is.

New York Times Came a Knockin'

Just A Silicon Valley Blog Post

After the supposed end of The Silicon Valley Mom Blog I didn't give my posts much thought.  I owned them, I could re-post them and/or just let them live in the Blogosphere.  I enjoyed writing for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog a lot more than I thought I would.  I wrote about events at school, my crazy family and mostly my children. 

This June I was very fed up, frustrated and burnt out from volunteering at my children's school.  I listed all that I had done on this blog and then made a public pledge to not do it again on SV Moms Blog.  I got a lot of comments on and off line from other volunteers like myself that were done with a capital D with volunteering. 

Two weeks ago I received an email from a reporter at the New York Times  who read my post.  She asked if I would speak to her about my volunteering or lack their of.  She wanted to hear how this year was going and if I had kept up my pledge.  Without thinking I said "Hell to the Yes!", or maybe I thought that in my head and just replied very polite like in an email.  Either way I was interviewed the following day.

New York Frickin' Times Interview

Rule one when you get an interview with a very reputable news paper (or any publication) - get the  time correct.  And me being a veteran of countless interviews (okay a dozen or so) I am always prepared and I always get the time right.  Ya, not so much.   I bounced, or stumbled out of bed at 6:30 a.m. and downed two cups of coffee for my 7:00 a.m interview.  Then I waited and waited.  I waited some more. And then waited a little bit longer.  Then I drank more coffee. 

By about 7:45 a.m. I was freaking out and bouncing off the walls.  I looked at the email for the 45th time that morning and realized I had the time wrong.  Don't ask me how or why but I was under the impression the interview was at 10:00 a.m Eastern Standard Time....and uh, it was actually 10:00 a.m my time, Pacific Standard Time.   So now I was wide awake just waiting for the interview.  By the time she called (the correct agree time)  I was the babbling laughing volunteer from Hell.  I was interviewed for over 30 minutes and am pretty confident that I sounded like an insane rabid parent.  Yes, I am scared of what will be taken from the interview.

I calmed myself down by remembering some past interviews.  Having been interviewed in the past I was not even confidant my interview would even be a part of the article.  This happens more than I care to admit.  I have said it before, and will continue to say it - press is good.  All press is good (Jamie's Painting & Design never came up in this interview).  I am fine, the whole article may  not even ever be published.  I did not get my hopes up.  Then last week I got an email.  I had to be in a Photo Shoot, with my children like in a few days........ah, come again?

Ready for My Close Up

When picking out our clothes I tried not to over think it, but I wanted us to look good - so I totally over thought the whole thing.  I figured my kids should dress as casual as possible without looking like we were trying to be too causal - this is not as easy as it sounds.  The urge to dress my children in their holiday finest, get hair cuts and polish their shoes was very tempting.  Sadly I cancelled the fancy up-do, professional make-up artists/stylist and put away my formal gown, diamond tiara and fur.  We were the Lentzners, and we were going with jeans.

Last Wednesday the photographer arrived at my home.  Now, I have to preface this with the fact that the exterior of my house is a disaster.  We are in the process of having the entire house stuccoed, painted and we are replacing all of the lights.  When I answered the door I caught our photographer looking around at the plywood very skeptical.  His eyes kept darting back and forth from the plywood srewed to the house, and a bulb hanging where my light would be.  When he finally made eye contact I could have sworn I saw him sigh.  He was probably expecting Ma Kettle wearing overalls and smoking a pipe.

I took him to all the rooms, seeing which one had the best light or the best angle for him.  Even with turning on every light in the house my home for him, he was not sure about where to photograph us.  After walking back and forth for about ten minutes he still had not found a good spot.  The front yard was out of the question since it would look like we lived in an Appalachian Wooden House and the playroom ( that would be the garage) had ourdogs in it.  I was starting to get nervous.  After two tours of the Lentzner home I caught him eyeing the backyard.  This was not going to be good.

We Have Dogs & Standing Water

As he leaped out our back door and into our backyard swamp I blurted out, "We have Dogs! Watch   where you....step."  I watched him grimace as he took big then small steps while trying to examine his surroundings.  He danced around, eyeing the ground as if he were about to step on a land mind.  With the 3 solid days of rain, followed by 3 days of near freezing weather - my kids had not been out to uh, clean up after our pets. It was not a pretty sight, puddles, mud, poop and some dead plants - I was mortified.

And of course he decided to photograph outside.....yep, even though I was casual I was still rocking my cute suede boots.  Boots I did not want covered in dog excrement.  The children to were told to play soccer and look natural.  After they fought over which ball to bring outside we all dodged dog poop and mud for 10 to 15 minutes.  I am sure the look on my face was part disgust and part shock while I was being photographed.  Nothing says "Working Mom" like a mother and her children playing soccer in a mud/poop swamp.

We then took photos in our kitchen, in my office and me looking out the window at my dinning room table.  I still don't know if I was supposed to look happy, sad, confused or dignified.  I just hope the pictures came out decent.  The article is scheduled to be published Thursday, December 3, 201o.  I am hopeful that we/me sound and look decent and normal and sane.  It could happen.

The Whole Dr. Phil Truth, the whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth

October 15, 2009.

It has been almost 24 hours since I saw myself on the Dr. Phil Show last night.  In Northern California it airs at night, but I had already heard from friends across the country what was said, and how I looked.  I can't even begin to explain how surreal (and very uncomfortable, even after a glass of wine) it is to watch yourself on TV, hear your voice and to know  the show was edited.

 

 

Behind the Scenes at Dr. Phil

After the make-up artist, the hair person, the handlers and the producers all got us guests gussied up and wound into a total heart-beat freaking out panic, they escorted us down to the studio.  My husband could not come, we were told to leave our cameras/cell phones/purses in our room.  Heather Armstrong was told to stay put, me, Jessica and a woman named Melia (sorry about spelling) were marched down some stairs to where Dr. Phil was filmed. 

Once the three of us got to the back of the stage a producer type with an earpiece started dictating where we should stand and who was in front and behind us.  Oh wait, let me back up - there was a gaggle of women with purses laughing, giggling and holding pieces of paper standing in front of us.  They were all very animated and I was clearly confused.  Who the heck were these women? Why were they clutching their purses and how come none of them had their hair and make up done?  Who told that one to wear the tight tan suit with crocks?  Jessica informed me they were from the studio audience and were NOT guests.  I was still a bit baffled as I did what I was told by Gaffer man.

Stay At Home Mom's Over Here.....Working Mom's Go Over There!

If a camera had been on me when they started dividing us up by whether we worked or did not work you would have seen me start to panic.  I was seriously starting to sweat when I figured we were going to be in the audience (what?  I thought I was a guest?) and when I saw that the Stay at Home Mom's by far outnumbered us working mothers - I freaked.  The gaffer/producer dude was yelling at us to move from one side or the other.  I was having flashbacks from grammar school, like PE when the damn dodge ball team was picked.....I was a 40 pound weakling who was knock-knee-ed, guess when I was picked?

We were told to stay in our line (I was last - go figure) and we all walked down more stairs to another behind the scenes/seating area location to wait to be called up to "practice" where we would sit.  As we are all standing there one woman (I will call her Babs) whowaswearing a too tight suit, had dyed blond hair,and her roots growing out started asking questions to the group.  In a somewhat high squeaky voice she started quiet, but then got louder as the crowd answered the questions the way she wanted them too, "Who's a stay at home mom?  Are you a stay at home mom?  Raise your hand?  You are? Woot! Woot!  You are? (high fiving the ones that were) Yeah!!".  The women standing near hera with their hands up and their faces smiling with delight and glee.  Then Babs gave them the rally call they so needed, "Yeah!  Us Stay At Home Mom's we are going to RULE this!"  I was annoyed.

As I told Jessica (who was in front of me) she (Babs) did not KNOW me, she did not know who I was - I had a blog dam nit....and I was not afraid to use it. Then I started thinking, since when was it us against them?   I did not sign up for this.........I was gritting my teeth by then.  The only saving grace was that when we all got our microphones they passed on Babs.  She was all aflutter, since she was told (as she repeated) that she was getting one.  I am not embarrassed to say I was thrilled by this turn of events - but I was still petrified of what I was going to endure once I got out on stage.

The Fun Has Just Begun

Us "special Moms" all stood in the back as Dr. Phil talked about the topic.  One by one he said hello to us and one by one most of the Mom's were placed on the SAHM side.  I waited, smiled until it got to Jessica and then she said her now infamous quote, I was shocked.  I did take a step back, if you watch I turn to look up to the audience and I literally mouthed to my husband who was sitting there, "WHAT THE??"  His response ......he was laughed and cackled like a hyena - so glad he came. 

Frequently Asked Questions About the Dr. Phil Show "Guilty Moms"

Did Dr. Phil ask you those questions? Did you talk more?

Dr. Phil went to me first and said my name (edited out) and he asked about a post I wrote (edited out) regarding these stay at home mom's who said mean things to me.  I did not have any idea that I was first, all I knew from producer #2 was that I had to hit on the points about the blog when Dr. Phil spoke to me.  I said the quote, "Can't we all Get Along (channeling the great Rodney King)" - it was edited out.

Girl why did you not jump on her or throw your chair at her?

Had I know the topic and how Jessica felt I may have been more witty and more prepared for a bitch/slap girl on girl fight (doubtful but a strong possibility).  The truth is, I did not (and do not) want to be remembered as that beeotch on Dr. Phil who went crazy on a SAHM.  I know that Youtube is forever, and I know you can edit things to look one way....and I know someday my kids will not be so keen on all that I have said and done.  I also realize that I am not going to change her views and she sure won't change mine - so what is the point of throwing a few swear words and evil growls her way?  I do care what others think, and though I may be considered a bitch - I am not that big of a bitch.

What were you really thinking when you did that eye roll facial twitch thing?

I have no frickin' idea what I was thinking, heck they could have filmed that at a break or when I was begging everyone around me for a mint (I was).  I know I was shocked by Jessica's comments, I know I wanted to say something but only if I sounded articulate.  I now wish I said more - but I can live with how I was portrayed.

Was she for real?  What do you think about the show?

Having filmed it, seen the edited version and had sometime to think about the show I do have some thoughts.  I am surprised in this day and age that these polarized views are still out there and that we spend time arguing about them.  I was told by the producers that she was sincere and that she meant everything that was said - I don't know if that is true, but I am going to have to take it at face value.  I do know that her come backs and one liners were pretty crisp and either she is brilliant on her feet or she had an agenda for the show.  Either way if you check Dr. Phil's blog, The Huffington Post or lots of other forums on the web you will see Jessica got the conversation going, and going and going.  No one even knows my last name (which is fine) but they ALL know hers.

I do wish I had said more, I wish I had been a little more brave and shared my views and what I did for a living, but such is life.  I think I have a unique situation and something that other parents could learn from....but that will be my next talk show I get invited to be on.  Right?

He's the One They Call Dr. Pheeel

August 22, 2009.

So, I have had some time to digest the events of the last week, I took notes for once.  If you read Dooce, or you follow her on Twitter you may have known she was a guest on a  show  filmed earlier this week.  This story has a point - though it may be long and filled with angst, trust me read on:

Heather was on the show, she tweeted during the show.  I. was. on. the. show. too.  Now I don't mean I was just in the audience (well I was sitting there, but wait, all the guests were) I was literally a guest on the show. 

How Did I Get Here?

The short answer of course is blogging, the long answer is blogging.  Since everyone keeps asking me, I am going with the long answer - see exhibit A:

A.  In March of 2008 I wrote a post for The Silicon Valley Mom Blogs.  I titled it "Dear SAHM's", in hindsight I should have titled it, "Dear a Few Select (not everyone) SAHM's at my children's School".    I made a few errors, and boo-boos's when posting.  It seems I may have linked to a SAHM that baked cookies and some thought I meant her, others read the post and assumed I was a SAHM hater.  Others then turned on me saying I should shut-up and just deal with.  I did get some support, I think I got a number of Mom's that had similar things said to them.  Anyways - the post got a bit of attention and everyone got all fired up.

Okay - so on August 13th, late at night (this year of course) I was checking email and I saw an email from a fellow writer for the Silicon Valley Mom Blogs.  The email said that the Dr. Phil Show was looking for Mother's for an upcoming show:

Do you feel guilty because your work schedule limits your availability to
your kids?  Do you spoil them to try to compensate for time you're not able
to spend with your children?  Do you take them on expensive vacations or
supply them with the newest gadgets to try to distract them from your
absence?  Do you pay for extracurricular activities that you wouldn't
normally because it will give them something to do while you're not there?

Are you a working mom and feel constantly judged and criticized by the stay
at home moms?  Do they make you feel guilty for being a working parent?  Do
they believe that moms should stay at home with their kids?  Have you had
enough of their snarky comments?  If this sounds like you and the moms in
your community and you want to discuss this with Dr. Phil, send us your
story!  Please attach a current photo of yourself and your family

National TV Baby!

I responded to the query - and highlighted the ones that fit me, just in case you did not KNOW.  I sort of knew the woman who sent it - we had traded amusing comments on our posts, tweeted each other and we were Facebook friends - and you know how tight FB friends are.  I sent my SAHM post and next thing you know I was introduced to the first Producer.  He called me once, twice, then three times.  I spoke to a producer who screened me, which is a whole other post, and asked a gazillion questions.  I spoke to another more senior producer who asked me more questions - sort of the same ones, yet in a different way.  Then the next day - same thing, more questions.  By early evening on Thursday, August 15th I had a plane ticket, a hotel room and I was going on The Dr. Phil Show!  Moral of the story - start blogging, like now, now wait I do have more:

So Smooth, I am So Smooth

When I got booked for the show the producers gave guests, or just me - who knows, maybe they heard about my clothing choices - a list of do's and don'ts for TV.  Some were not surprising, no stripes or large prints, others I had no idea about.  I was told to dress as if I were going to church or a job interview.  Damn!  That vision of "hot artist mom" for all my ex-boyfriends to see was shot down by a vision of me dressed in a suit, panty-hose and pumps.  And since I had not been on an interview in over 14 y ears I debated robbing my grandmother's closet, then thought about and went shopping.  Oh well - I did my best and came up with 4 suitable shirts/sweaters that looked presentable with black or white pants.  I was prepared I thought.

They flew me out the day before, so I had plenty of time to kill after I arrived, since the hotel served NO FOOD, WATER or ALCOHOL till 5:00 p.m.   One problem I had was that the shirts ranged from royal blue, steel blue to teal.  My lipstick of choice (and only one I had, that I have since lost)did not match - as my sister was so kind to inform me.  I did not have time to get a new lipstick before I left.   Thank God the hotel was connected to a Mall, so I went shopping - again.

Girls Just Want to Wear Make Up

The first girl I encountered at Sephora (in the lipstick department mind you) suggested and I quote, "Like uh maybe a nude gloss or light pink?"  The look on my face must have said it all because she quick like talked into her hidden make up phone she had hidden behind her black/orange and yellow hair and said, "Ya, hi we have a situation up here.  I need some lipstick advice pronto."

Soon enough a petite woman appeared in front of me.  She had olive skin and dark black hair.  Her make up was - uh, let's just say she had that goth look down pat.  She looked at me, she listened to my "clothing choices" and immediately knew the color.  She suggested a wine colored lipstick, a matte - and a lip liner.  She pulled it out and started coloring on her hand, over and over and over.  It looked like she was going to tattoo herself with the lipstick - but whatever, she was an expert.  She asked if I liked it, I said yes.  The color looked great. "Do you want to try it on?"   I said, "No I trust you."  Because you know the way it looks on her dark skin and my lips would be totally the same.

Big Mistake.

I May Be A Vampire

The morning of the episode filming a car came to pick me up.  I had Darin (yes he came too so he could witness me incase I ended up on Talk Soup) grab my "chosen outfit", our bags and I followed him out of the hotel.   Right before we left I put on my new fancy shmancy wine colored lipstick AND liner and ran out the door.  Did I forget to mention it was 6:15 a.m in the morning?  Ya, it was.  So as I am flying through the lobby I see Heather Armstrong and her baby sitting on a bench.  I knew it was her.  I went up and said hello, told her I loved her blog (which is true but I did not want to sound like a total crazy stalker).  I told her I was on the show too, we sort of chuckle over the topic and I was off.

I was feeling all smug and happy to have met her.  She was super nice, I usually do no thave the guts to say hello.  I am was no longer that nervous about the show.   So on the 10 minute drive over I checked Facebook, texted my friend, checked email - the usual stuff I do while driving (kidding Mom I would never do that), but now I was being driven. 

We arrived on the Paramount Studios lot, I was whisked inside by my handlers.  They gave me my own green room.  Although I was a bit disappointed it was not green - more like cream and tan - I had my own room!  And even though I did not have a director chair with my name on it - which Darin pointed out between fits of laughter.  I was told to make myself comfortable, stay here, have coffee.  Everyone was all, "la la - you look great Jamie.  Glad you are here Jamie, you are fantastic."   They were so nice and I felt fabulous.  As the handlers left, I took a look in my mirror, I turned and looked at the 6 x 6  foot mirror in MY room.

I.had.on.blood red.lipstick.blood red - NOT WINE.

I looked like I just drank the blood of a victim.  My lips were the brightest fricking red I had EVER seen. 

I had soooo arrived.

Press or Just Hype?

pregnancy_cover
Originally uploaded by mama_lentz.

February 24, 2007.

Gosh, I hope that is what day it is.....I have been in a fever induced stupor for the last three days or four, but who is counting....now both my kids have it. What a fun-filled weekend we will be having!

There is a small blurb about me (with a photo yuck) in the March issue of Pregnancy Magazine. It's a very small blurb....however it says I started a 'home based business' and now run one. To me it sounds like I sell Tupperware or something off my kitchen table - whatever. I KNOW that is not the impression I gave to the reporter who interviewed me, but again - whatever.  No press is bad press...

So....where am I going with this? I consider myself a bit savvy on getting press, and able to tell the difference between press and advertisement....apparently I don't know everything.

A couple of weeks ago I sent out some of our new products to Trade Magazines, Newsletters, E-zines, to show them what we were releasing in 2007. This is something I recommend you do during the slow months and it's a great way to get press - it may take months to come to fruition, but it can create quite a buzz about your products. I sent out about ten emails and got one back, inviting me to participate in there, let's call it "Desingers on the Up". This was a reputable website, newsletter that recommends products, been on TV, etc. Large following of subscribers, and over 100,000 clicks per page (as the media guide states) when the "Designer Guide Thingie" drops.

So, after my fever subsided and I was able to read my email, I opened up the email and went over the requirements. Uh, ya...it costs upwards of a $1000 for them to "recommend" me as a great new upcoming designer. And, get this, if I am willing to pay extra they will write about me in there blog!!! Ooooh, I can hardly contain myself.

Needless to say I passed on the opportunity, I don't advertise, nor do I pay for press. Since I sell wholesale and direct, I do not want to advertise and compete with my sales channels. Also, I find this kind of press mis-leading.

So when reading press here are a few items to remember:

Just because you see a product or a company featured in a magazine or newsletter it does not mean that consumers are even buying the product. I know of a company that has been featured in numerous magazines, toots her own horn about all the great press she is getting to anyone and everyone. All of the websites that sell her stuff claim they have never, and I mean never sold any of her products.

Celebrity endorsing a product could mean a number of things. Companies often send products to celebrities, for free. Companies sometime send products out to celebrities, and just start telling reporters that celebrity loved it. Now, sometimes celebrities are clients, but don't believe everything you read. For the record, Charlize Theron, Adam Sandler, Roy Disney, Oprah Winfrey and Gary Shandling have purchased our products and/or have been given them as gifts - true story.

Lastly (this is what I just learned), companies pay for press. Sometimes an article looks like it is editorial, where it is actually an advertorial (very hard to decipher, this is an advertisement written like an article, it usually says in small letters: this is an advertisement). Other times a company has paid for the spot to get themselves featured as a great new designer, with no fine print saying they paid for it.

Don't get me wrong, press is great, I am a huge fan of it, it can help a small struggling business and it can put you on the map, so to speak. But please people, don't believe the hype....

TV Interview part II

View From the Bay 01-08-07
Originally uploaded by mama_lentz.

January 7, 2007.

Here is a quick shot of my daughters room for the TV show I was interviewed for back in November, View From the Bay (ABC 3:00-4:00 SF Bay Area and streamlined on the Internet, the segment airs Jan 8, 2007).  The segment was edited this week.  They were at our home for over two hours and we discussed many things on and off the camera.  Lisa Quinn, from HGTV was the person who interviewed me and I really can honestly say I totally enjoyed  myself.  She was so nice, as were the producer the camera man - it was a great experience.  They have since asked me back to possibly do a couple other segments for children's rooms, even a nursery with Pregnancy Magazine is in the talks.

Over the years I have been interviewed many times and this was by far one of the best interviews (well so I think now, wait till it airs tomorrow).  Regardless of how the segment is edited, I did really enjoy myself.  I had a good time, knew my products, knew the answers to the questions....whether I come off good or not at the time I felt it went really well.

Having been interviewed live vs. on the phone it is a different type of interview. Speaking with a camera pushed up right in front of your face is something you are just NOT prepared for.  This could be great for JPD and me....or not.  I am hopeful it goes well and I don't come off as a babbling, sweaty, over-animated woman, waving my arms, saying thank you and smiling like a mad woman.  And if I do.....well.....well, I um, I may have to change my name and move out of state and uh start selling something else.

Things I needed to remember when being interviewed on TV:

• Keep your arms down in case you are sweating (which I was)
• Talk slowly, speak clearly (I should do this all the time)
• Know what you want to talk about, what is your agenda
• Listen to the interviewer, pay attention to their agenda
• Smile
• Don't say um
• Be animated and excited about you are talking about
• Listen
• Do not talk over the interviewer
• Thank them, and thank them again and again (this was easy to remember) 

And last but not least I am sure you are asking how (I know you want to know) I got the chance to be on the show.....I sent a pitch to the show and other ABC shows when I was on EMHE.  AS soon as we got that show I wanted to expand on the publicity. I followed up to every producer I sent the pitch to, I kept calling to find out who got my information forwarded to them.  See the EMHE not a bad thing after all...that did work out for us!

First TV interview....

View from the Bay 01-08-07
Originally uploaded by mama_lentz.

January 8, 2007

This is a quick shot of my son's room. I will be featured on a TV show that airs tomorrow, showcasing what I did to decorate my son and daughters rooms. The segment also features my business and how I started it.

January 8, 2006.
View From the Bay (www.viewfromthebay.com)
3:00-4:00 ABC SF Pacific Standard Time Zone

The show will be on their website for 90 days. Our segment was filmed for the House Doctor segment. See the following photo for my daughters room.

JPD & PPG on The Ellen Degeneres Show

Pig
Originally uploaded by mama_lentz.

Here is Ellen's other dog, the ornament was also featured on the November 29, 2006 show (The Ellen Degeneres Show that is).  It will re-air on December 7th at 1:00 a.m. on the Oxygen Channel to boot.

So National TV for JPD and PPG....and this time you do not need to pin your eyelids open in fear of missing our image fly across your TV screen.

Late last week we sent two personalized (see previous post) ornaments made specially for Ellen (http://ellen.warnerbros.com/).  We got a call late yesterday from the producer asking how to spell my last name and how to pronounce it (Ha ha jokes on me she still said it wrong) but that was all they asked.

Then early this morning as I was driving my daughter to school I quickly checked my email (new blackberry is fabulous...no?) at the stop light (no I was not driving).  I almost crashed into the car in front of mine when I got an email from one of my channels congratulating me on having ornaments on the show. 

I have been on cloud 9 ever since!  I hope we can get it up on our site soon.  I have only heard from friends how the segment went, but I get to go home and catch it in about 30 minutes.  It's a real quick segment but apparently she shows the two ornaments, thanks me on the air, mentions where I am from and then begs for a tree (gotta go get her one now...).

So...not bad for a Wednesday!  And a quick shout out to my new buddy......THANKS ELLEN!!!  I OWE YOU!!!....pssssst could you put in a good word to Oprah for me!!

Ellen's dog Wolf

Wolf
Originally uploaded by mama_lentz.

November 29, 2006 featured on the Ellen Degeneres Show

EMHE Name Tiles

EMHE Name Tiles
Originally uploaded by mama_lentz.

Cheerleader Name Tiles made for the EMHE show. The colors of the letters can be changed, as can the 'look' of the cheer leaders. We also give the customer the choice to change the colors of the cheer leaders outfits

EMHE Trading Card

EMHE Trading Card
Originally uploaded by mama_lentz.

Our brand new Trading Cards that we released Fall of 2006. This Trading Card Name Plaque was made especially for the Extreme Make Over Home Edition Season Premiere. The Girl was made to look like the daughter, Laura in the Rodgers family. We were under the impression (they told us) that she was a cheer leader. This was not the case, she was the only girl and the designer decided to label her the 'family cheer leader'.

Extreme Make Over Room

EMHE room
Originally uploaded by mama_lentz.

November 14, 2006.

I think I am finally able to write about what happened with Extreme Make Over Home Edition Season premiere. It did not go as planned:

The shot of the door to Laura's room with the Trading Card, whizzed by so fast you could only see it if you freeze-framed very slowly as they came into the room(yes I did that a few times)

This image was showed for less than two seconds when Laura's room was unveiled.

Our company name did NOT come in the roll, at the end of the show (the credits)

The designer that organized the whole room (who promised we would be in the credits), um, yes that company's name was listed.

Our company name or website was NOT listed on the EMHE website.

All in all it was pretty disturbing at first.  I did not sleep well that night, having told everyone we would be on.  So, so many people even said they recorded it and watched but never saw our products (Well, gosh people you should NOT blink, I repeat do NOT blink when watching the show, or you will miss something).

Now many of you might say it was not worth it - but it was.  We are getting included in not one but two articles due to our participation in the show.  We are going to be featured on a local TV Show here in the Bay Area due to our participation in the show.  And.....from what I have been told Laura was exstatic, she was just thrilled with the room....not bad, not bad at all.

Flying Under the Radar?

September 23, 2006.

When speaking with other business owners in my industry, whether it be bedding designers, re-sellers, artisans, boutique owners, sales reps, one common assumption is made of my business: we have flown under the radar.  Four years in business come this November (though it seems like longer) and we have not had any major disturbances, i.e; no products sold on Ebay, no company in China ripping off our designs, no flea market knock-offs, no similar tile artist, nothing, nada - we have been safe.

Let me clarify what I mean....other companies have not been so lucky, I have had no one blatantly copy my concept, artwork or style.  For example, take  Drooz Studio (http://www.drooz.com/) artist Shelly Kennedy's company has been around for awhile.  She was an innovator with putting a 'mural' on canvas and then hanging in on a decorative rod.  Last count, I think she has at least 15 other companies copying her concept, her art style and some are blatantly ripping off designs she created.  Now, I do not know Shelley Kennedy personally, but I have enormous respect for her company,her talent (she is a real artist to boot) and her ability not to go ape-shit crazy on these copy-cats (I don't think I could be so cool).  So....if you read my blog (psst...read the one before) you know how I feel about fake-artists and copying....breathe Jamie, breathe.

Which brings me back to JPD, we have been either very lucky or very smart (I put my money on lucky).  In 24 hours our products will be on a national, top rated TV show.  If all goes according to plan, then some 10-17 million viewers (checked google for statistics) will see our products and hopefully catch our company name in the credits as it flys by (or more realistically check the website we hope....). I do realize that many other companies have been on EMHE before, and we are not the first.  However, the ones I have tracked have already had national recognition before being on the show.

The expression "careful what you wish for" could very well be coming true.  I admit nothing may happen, our products may zip by and it does not affect us at all...but it might.  When I started this business I decided to go all out, and not just 'dabble' in the industry.  About 1/2 way through my first year in business a friend asked me why, why would I want to continue to get bigger and bigger?  She wanted to know what would compel me to do this.  I merely stated, "If I am going to do something, I want to do it....otherwise what is the point?  Why do something 1/2 ass?"

So....here we go!

National TV for JPD!!

September 18, 2006.

Okay, I am a pretty strong proponent of writing a blog vs. writing a newsletter and calling it a blog.  I have seen lots of these (you know who you are) and they make my blood boil.  I mean, PLEASE tell us something we don't know.  And the advertisements/blogs , don't get me started.

Uh, but like the the sappy love song that contradicts itself...here I go with some NEWS (However, I think something can be learned from this):

Jamie's Painting & Design was contacted this summer about supplying  products for an Extreme Make Over Home Edition episode.  We were sworn to secrecy and given colors, theme and a very tight deadline. We sent them over-night and held our breath in anticipation of the products getting lost or broken in transit (thank you Fed Ex they arrived in one piece).

Two of our products will be featured on Extreme Make Over Home Edition Season Premiere on abc 8:00 - 10:00 p.m. this Sunday, September 24, 2006.

Now this in itself is very big for us, we are super-excited to be a part of something so amazing and the exposure is something we could not have ever gotten alone. 

I mentioned our opportunity to another company and they said that they considered doing this, yet it would be too costly.  I honestly disagree - you can not PAY for this kind of exposure, and to be a part of such an amazing organization.  Our company name will be on the roll at the end of the show and we will be on the website forever!  We say yes to charities, auctions, hospitals, churches all the time-we always have, even when we were itty-bitty.  I feel very lucky and blessed to be able to do what I love and I believe in giving back.

I think companies should pay attention to the image they are portraying.  Giving back to the community that supports you is a must.  You never know when they might stop buying your products.....what comes around goes around.

Who wants free Publicity?

August 9, 2006.

This is the by the far the most frequent question asked of me, "How did you get that publicity?".  I have to admit I have a few things I have learned and some suggestions for everyone wondering where to start.

Now, not to brag but if you look at my site (http://www.jamiespnd.com/cgi-bin/store/agora.cgi?page=buzz.html) I got all of that PR on my own, for free.  And if you say that oh I don't need that - well guess what that PR equals sales.  Our birth certificates were featured in Better Home & Garden Kids' Room in the fall of 2004 - our sales grew by 100% on line for the next six months.

Now, truth be told we are  now working with a wonderful PR company for our new pet products and have some amazing press coming out this fall.  However...if you are on a budget and want to do it yourself, read on:

Start with trade magazines for your industry.  I would suggest getting physical copies of them (call and they will send you a copy) and read them....see where you may fit.  A product placement?  A story about what your company is doing?  A feature?  This can drum up business for you and validate your business.  Find email addresses, or phone numbers and PITCH them your company.  Make sure and pitch the correct person though - pitching your product to the receptionist gets you no where.  If you are able to bend the ear of a journalist and they choose to pass on your product (or story) ask why.  Find out what they are looking for.  I have found many magazines have set times for certain products (holiday items, accessories in the spring...etc.).

Take baby steps, Publicity takes a lot of time.  Make it part of your weekly, if not daily routine. 

Working Mother...Oh Yeah!

May 26, 2006.

Last year I read in Lisa Hammond's Book, Dream Big(http://www.femailcreations.com) twice at least and did do one thing she mentioned about putting together a wish list, or an inspirational board.  The theory is you cut out things you 'want' or 'want to do' and put it somewhere you will see it every day and remind you of your goals.  I put all of the things I wished to accomplish on my board, and on a whim posted a cover of Working Mother Magazine.  Lisa suggest the bathroom, but err - no, not in my house, try the garage (where the studio was and I spent every frickin' day...).  So when we moved into new office space and I had a REAL office, the board did not make the move.

Which made what happened all that more amazing., I had responded to a Working Mother email questionnaire about a year ago....then in April of this year,I got an email from a journalist asking if I could be interviewed for an article in Working Mother, my answer -HELL YA!

Well, if you catch the latest Working Mother (www.workingmother.com) and don't blink, and read cover to cover you will notice I am featured in the Desperate (non)Housewives article (not the company, just Jamie Lentzner).  Ya, ya I know you thought I was the Entrepreneur Mom (ha- good one, right), but I digress- I got to give some good tips on getting your children to help clean the house.  I was interviewed for an hour, it was a great experience.

So.....where does this leave me?  With Oprah, Entrepreneur Magazine, business plan, investsors, debt free, larger channels and many other goals on my board, I get to cross one thing off my board - if I could find it.  It was a huge honor to be in Working Mother, all working mom's should read this magazine.  I felt a sense of accomplishment, although I will admit two paragraphs does not parlay to 'Cover Working Mother of the Year'  but I take baby steps....

Take what you can get, be proud of yourself, pat yourself on the back.  Seriously, set some goals with your business and go for it....and when you accomplish them - tell people, smile, be graceful.  It feels good!  Make tiny goals...you can get them -it just takes perserverance and answering EVERY email in your in-box ;).