October 17, 2012.
To steal from one person is theft. To steal from many is taxation.
~Daielle’s Law (take off of Felson’s Law)
It is interesting to me how most things in my life always come full circle. When bad things happen I am sort of not surprised – I usually see it coming. I think we all have this sort of inane sixth sense, especially women. I have found this helpful with almost 99% of the times my children have gotten in….ahem, trouble or had an emotional breakdown. It is like when my husband is stressed with work, the tension and electricity in the air is different. The calm of our household is all screwed up and I can sense it going to boil over at some point. I do not think I am special or psychic (but don’t tell my children that), I just think that I can tell when things are not right.
It’s Friday, Friday, Gotta Get Down On Friday
My husband and I decided to go out for a few drinks with some good friends this past Friday. The local watering hole (I am being kind, it is a bar) was close by and we could leave our four children at home for a short time. After ordering the kids a pizza we headed out. It is not a fancy place, but the food and drinks are good and sometimes I get to see a grandmother with a tattoo on her boob do some shots and dance..…but I digress.
We were on a short time frame due to the fact that we had never left our four children alone together and we had the dreaded wonderful soccer games the following morning. Oh, and the fact that we do not frequent bars that often, we were all watching our watches. After an hour, a few drinks & a delicious plate of hot wings, my husband mentioned our neighbors were there. And by neighbors I mean the Tea Party Lady who said, “I am sort of a big deal, yet can’t wear a bra” neighbor. He (not me) sent them over drinks and they waved him over. Here is how the conversation started and deteriorated without me (shocking I know):
“Thanks for the drinks”, Tea Party Neighbors said
Darin, “You are welcome”.
“You know when you put up that sign I said to my husband, I like our neighbors and all but how could they? How could they dare put up that sign? I was just shocked….” Tea Party Wife
Darin,“ You put up a Mitt Romney sign. Why can’t we put up an Obama sign? And for the record, I do not trust Romney.”
Tea Party Neighbor, “I don’t like Romney, but I can NOT vote for a Muslim.”
Silence……Darin smiled and walked away. You can not fight with stupid.
And Then That (sort of) Happened Again
Darin walked back to our table and tried to explain what had just happened to him. I was still mid-speech/sputter/laughter as he described our neighbors to our friends (and to note I have NO idea their political affiliation), and then this happened….. from the corner of my eye I could see my neighbors approaching our table. Being a non-paid expert on drunks, I observed my neighbor moving from side to side, while her glass of wine(that we paid for) precariously sloshing out of her glass. When she approached our table, she thanked us for the drinks….and then this happened;
“So, thank you for the drinks….” Tea Party Neighbor slurred as she sloshed wine from side to side.
“You are welcome. We are neighbors.” Darin said
Her husband stood behind her and she looked me in the eye and said, “You know I can’t vote for a Muslim, but I can vote for a Mormon. Oh, I did not steal your sign by the way.”
I am not sure if I am proud or sad, but I was speechless. I said nothing. I mean, ask my High School friends, I am not one to be in a fight with – I say something sarcastic then duck when punches are thrown. Her lack of education and the fact that President Obama is an a African American & a Christian is probably not going to change her mind. And, if I may - I would vote for him even if he was Muslim.....crazy woman please! As her husband dragged/pushed her out of the bar without uttering a word I just stared at them. But I also started to add up my own statistics on the 2012 Election.
If My Campaign was Dictated by Facts:
- I never told my neighbor our sign was stolen
- We replaced it within 12 hours
- I will never let my husband buy possibly hostile neighbors cocktails again
- President Obama is NOT a Muslim, he is a Christian….but if he was Muslim it would not matter
- I need a “I am Kind of Big Deal” T-Shirt
Never Trust a Woman who Doesn’t Wear A Bra
At the end of the day I am super (as is my husband) proud that I did not say anything to this woman. For once I am thinking that silence is the best enemy. I mean, she pretty much became the punch line of every story I told all weekend, and every day until Election day approaches, the story I will keep telling.
She will continue to be the butt of all my jokes as October turns into November. I would like to know when the Freedom of Speech became a joke or reason to ridicule neighbors or individuals that live near you acceptable? Did I miss something in History? Was I asleep in Civics? I was a straight A student in English & History, unless there was some Math test snuck in. When did it NOT become OK to put up a political sign?
Now as I write this the Lentzner Militia is in full effect. My children have trained the dogs to sit by the front door and bark if someone as much as looks at our house. Our front light is left on all night day long. We expect our new (Bigger) sign to be stolen, but if it is, we won’t go down not trying to catch the thief. In fact, just today my daughter overheard a heated discussion on the junior high playground that made her pause and listen;
“I would vote Romney.” So said a girl
“Not me, I am voting for Obama.” Said, a boy.
“Obama is going to LOSE!” Said, a random boy & a girl.
Abby was quite upset by the conversation, but smart enough to realize these children were NOT old enough to vote (she is sort of smart like that). Not the conversation by content, but by the fact that she felt she could not volunteer her opinion. She was silenced, by her fear of what her oppinion would have done to the conversation. She kept the fact that her family had an Obama sign to herself and walked away - which is sad in so many ways. It is 2012 for Christ's Sake! To the haters I have my own quote, my kids and I put it all together on our own;
The thought that every vote counts is not always true. To our and neighbor who thinks our President is a Muslim….get an Education and stop letting your bigotry dictate your uneducated vote - he is Christian. You are angry because the world you once lived in has changed. Deal with it. Don’t lash out at those that have nothing to do with your hatred. The world is changing. Stealing a Political sign does nothing to push your agenda forward – it pushes it backwards. Your hatred angers the opposition and especially their children. Be careful what you do, our my children are watching.
~ Jamie Risdon Lentzner (I’m kind of a big deal….)